The Hopefuls

The Hopeful Best Friend:

Some may have friends with benefits…I’ve had a string of friends without benefits.  In every movie, as in life, there is always the girl that’s the best friend and the girl who gets the guy. Five years after a broken engagement, the only connection to a guy that I’m willing to risk is to be his best friend. I’m the first call in the middle of the night when something goes wrong, I’m the counsellor and the confidant, the one that picks out the hot outfit for his date night…with someone else. So now it’s time to stop backing myself into corners and taking the wrong turn into “friendville.” Because if this side is friendship and that side is a little bit more…I’m ready to cross the line.

The Hopeful Divorcee:

Some say don’t hate the player, hate the game…but what happens if you haven’t tuned into a match in ten years?! So, after the gradual demise of a marriage entered into at the tender age of 20, I am excited to be back on the scene. While most of my friends were out having one night stands, I was at home studying, raising step-children and cozying up with a husband. Needless to say I now feel very out of touch; wondering what the hell I’m doing out here! Is is acceptable to call somebody the very next day after a date, how does one “sext” without being tagged a dirty girl and when do I give “it” up? In the process of finding the next Mr. Right, what I’m discovering is a better version of me.

The Hopeful Logic:

Question One: do you own/lease and operate a motor vehicle?
Question Two: do you live in your own place?
Question Three: are you legally employed?

These are the things that run through my head when I first meet a guy that I think there’s a chance in hell that I might be attracted to.  Seems simple, no? Three little criteria that I take into account before deciding to open myself up to romantic possibilities. Has putting guys through this questionnaire worked for me in the past? Has it lead to healthy, fulfilling relationships? Has treating love like a job interview landed me the “ideal candidate”? Sadly….it’s resulted in years of pink slips and layoffs.

I have always approached love and relationships with a level head, a firm understanding of what I “should be doing” in dating. For example, when a guy says he’ll call you, under NO circumstances do you call him first, even if you haven’t heard from him in a week. Never let him touch your boobs on the first date, because if you do go there, he’ll lose respect for you and only want you for sex. However, abiding by these regulatory policies and procedures of love has resulted in failed business transactions instead of real love. It’s time to break my own rules, to move forward with listening to my heart and to realize that love is not always logical.

The Hopeful Philosopher:

While I have a somewhat fatalistic view on love, I still understand the importance of creating opportunities to increase those statistical chances of finding The One! I try to not stay in my head too much, but I can have a tendency to have a logical approach to relationships and dating. I have begun to realise that it is actually the slow and steady encounters that work best for me, and have therefore given up on meeting someone at the bar, leaving it to all the 20-somethings in their minis and stilettos. I mean, how the hell are you supposed to compete with that anyway!

The Hopeful Romantic:

Girl meets boy, girl falls for boy, boy has issues, girl tries to solve boy issues, boy disappears to solve own issues, girl drinks heavily and spends hours wondering what went wrong.  No this is not the latest Bridget Jones’ Diary but the Hopeful Romantic’s Diary.  When I say I want my love life to play out like the movies this isn’t exactly what I had in mind. I’m the one with her heart on her sleeve who always sees the best in everyone even when there’s not much to see.  I believe that love is out there for me, but as Charlotte from SATC says “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted! Where is he?”